Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Sometimes that picture just ain't worth a thousand words.

"Help! The browser-based application crashes once in a while for no reason. Here's a screenshot of the error."

Oh yes, very helpful, that. Chock full of information.

I wrote back to him telling him the next time the user has this error to click on "En savoir plus sur les modules complémentaires..." because the stuff there might actually be able to help me find the problem. Don't get the wrong impression here -- French is one langage I've mostly forgotten, but Windows is Windows in any language. I can't read a single Korean character but Installing and setting up a Korean-language Win2K3 "Advanced" Server in is a piece of piss.

Anyway, a week later I got an update.



No Dr Watson info or perhaps a log, but he was so helpful that he cut and pasted all the text from the box.

Into Word.

There are 329 pages (Arial, 12pt, single-spaced) of:

00000: 0d 00 0a 00 0d 00 0a 00 ........
00008: 55 00 6e 00 65 00 20 00 U.n.e. .
00010: 65 00 78 00 63 00 65 00 e.x.c.e.
00018: 70 00 74 00 69 00 6f 00 p.t.i.o.
00020: 6e 00 20 00 64 00 27 00 n. .d.'.
00028: 61 00 70 00 70 00 6c 00 a.p.p.l.
00030: 69 00 63 00 61 00 74 00 i.c.a.t.
00038: 69 00 6f 00 6e 00 20 00 i.o.n. .
00040: 73 00 27 00 65 00 73 00 s.'.e.s.
00048: 74 00 20 00 70 00 72 00 t. .p.r.
00050: 6f 00 64 00 75 00 69 00 o.d.u.i.
00058: 74 00 65 00 a0 00 3a 00 t.e. .:.
00060: 0d 00 0a 00 20 00 20 00 .... . .
00068: 20 00 20 00 20 00 20 00 . . . .
00070: 20 00 20 00 41 00 70 00 . .A.p.
00078: 70 00 a0 00 3a 00 20 00 p. .:. .
00080: 43 00 3a 00 5c 00 50 00 C.:.\.P.
00088: 72 00 6f 00 67 00 72 00 r.o.g.r.
00090: 61 00 6d 00 20 00 46 00 a.m. .F.
00098: 69 00 6c 00 65 00 73 00 i.l.e.s.
000a0: 5c 00 49 00 6e 00 74 00 \.I.n.t.
000a8: 65 00 72 00 6e 00 65 00 e.r.n.e.
000b0: 74 00 20 00 45 00 78 00 t. .E.x.
000b8: 70 00 6c 00 6f 00 72 00 p.l.o.r.
000c0: 65 00 72 00 5c 00 49 00 e.r.\.I.
000c8: 45 00 58 00 50 00 4c 00 E.X.P.L.
000d0: 4f 00 52 00 45 00 2e 00 O.R.E...
000d8: 45 00 58 00 45 00 20 00 E.X.E. .
000e0: 28 00 70 00 69 00 64 00 (.p.i.d.
000e8: 3d 00 33 00 37 00 36 00 =.3.7.6.
000f0: 38 00 29 00 0d 00 0a 00 8.).....
000f8: 20 00 20 00 20 00 20 00 . . . .
00100: 20 00 20 00 20 00 20 00 . . . .
00108: 4c 00 6f 00 72 00 73 00 L.o.r.s.
00110: 71 00 75 00 65 00 a0 00 q.u.e. .
00118: 3a 00 20 00 32 00 30 00 :. .2.0.
00120: 30 00 36 00 2d 00 30 00 0.6.-.0.
00128: 33 00 2d 00 30 00 36 00 3.-.0.6.
Sometimes I hate French people as much as I hate fucking Windows' use of UCS-2. Not that I truly hate the French. If he'd been from the Netherlands I'd've hated Dutch people today.

After half an hour converting this mess into something remotely legible I found the problem is a damaged ActiveX control which he should have seen himself had he bothered to look in Tools: Internet Options: Settings: View Objects.

Checking the ActiveX objects is always one of the first things you do for a browser-based client which uses them and had he done so I wouldn't've had to go through the tedious process of manually cleaning up a hex dump which, in turn, took so much time time that I forgot about my layout and strategy and the damned Choson came in and whacked my Hittites into total submission so I have to start a new round of Age of Empires.

Give me my Root Cause 17 already!

1 Comments:

Blogger Dana R. pulled out a crayon and scribbled:

In regards to intellectually challenged customers, I'll see you the French and raise you the Israelis. Here is a mail that I got from an Israeli customer because I wouldn't (read couldn't)give him the terms he demanded:


"Dear Lady,
Maybe we have language problem ?? another wise I don’t know why its so hard to make Biz with you guys .

I will try now to be clear .

A I can pay in any currency as long as you rate will NOT be more then 0.02 USD =0.01666 Euro .

Mean that ifI pay for 10k sms its will cost me 200 $ then I can pay you in Euro that not a problem .

B WHAT IS MY RATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope that its clear ?

According to the file that you send me Saudi is in " Group 1" that rate is 0.0219 Euro =0.026 USD

Only for 500,000 and above !!! I don’t find how much is for less then 500 k sms .

If that the case the rate IS NOT relevant to us we need rate of 0.02 USD =0.01666 Euro
As you can see that not a match .:-)

Also I sow a sep up fee and some more cost !!! I like to be clear we pay ONLY for sms that was send in fact

We DO NOT pay for any another situation/ fee .

We work in fact now with 2 sms provider as "company name" and we pay them only SMS that in fact was send and deliver .so with "YOU I not going to change my ways and to pay more then I pay today not fees and NOT per sms .I really don’t find our companies collaboration the reason are :
A RATE is not feet to what I have ask / or to what I need./ what I pay to another .
B I find my self with you in some kind of " altercation" with you / your company and its not feet to My Biz .
So make your chose if you like us to be customer give us what we need another wise its waste of time for you and for us ."

Well, he was right about one thing: It was a language problem

10 May, 2006 11:06  

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The views expressed on this blog are my own and
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and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.