No, nein, non, nei, niet, नहीं, нет, いいえ, 无, 아니다

September 29:

We are in the process of upgrading the Hardware and Software Environment for the Windows operating system, not $YourBigApp.

Well that sounds easy enough. Everything you need to know is in the Supported Systems guide. And you're too fucking lazy to look at it or your grasp of English and ability to look at simple tables is so tenuous you need your hand held. But dammit, when I give you the answer, quit asking me the same fucking question!

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So heres what we want to be doing:

Current Setup:
Windows 2000 Advance Server SP4
SQL Server 2000 SP3
IIS5

Proposed Setup:
Windows Server 2003 Enterprise Edition (32-Bit)
SQL Server 2000 SP4
IIS6

I do have reviewed the Supported Systems guide but I could not specifically find out the proposed setup? I am getting the following error during installation: "This setup can only be run on windows".

September 29:
Sure, Champ. Windows 2003 ain’t supported. The Supported Systems guide only lists what we support. We don’t list everything that we don’t support or we’d have to add a few hundred pieces of software a day.

September 29:
Three notes that the customer called to talk to me. He’s an Indian, in India. No fucking way. Been there, done that.

September 29 (still):

Thanks for your update. Could you please refer to Ticket A42-331B which I have created earlier? It’s mentioned that 7.5.3 is supported with Windows 2003 Server.

Uh-oh. A n00b had answered the ticket and apparently gave him bad information. I fired a note off to her, doing my best to maintain my calm and not get upper management’s attention.

On Monday I had her response: “In that ticket he wanted to know what OS can their Database Server can run on.” I had a look. Sure enough, that’s what she wrote. I sent her back a quick note letting her know she has to make such distinctions painfully clear to customers asking dumb questions about crap already in the Supported Systems guide.

October 02:

Raj,
The ticket you mentioned was specifically about your database platform. We don’t care about that so long as the vendor supports it, but $OurBigApp woun’t run on Windows 2003.

Windows 2003 isn't supported prior to version 3.L. It may work in compatibility mode, but we don’t support it. All our documentation is clear about this.

October 04:

Thanks for your update. Below is the configuration information which we planned to upgrade from

Current Setup:
Windows 2000 Advance Server SP4
SQL Server 2000 SP3
IIS5

to

Proposed Setup:

Web Server:
Win 2003 Srvr SP1
IIS 6
$YourBigApp components

Application Servers:
Win 2003 Srvr SP1
$YourBigApp
MDAC 2.8
Microsoft Office 2000
SQL Server 2005 Client Tools 32 bit

Database Server:
Win 2003 Srvr Standard/Enterprise Edition (32-bit or 64-bit)
SQL Server 2005 32-bit and 64-bit with full compatibility mode

Could you please let me know you suggestion if any of those incompatible?

I’ve written twice already that Windows 2003 ain’t supported for $OurBigApp and that it is supported for MS SQL Server. I wrote back and told him a third time. Unhappy with the answer he then looked up the requirements for version 3.L.x since Windows 2003 is unsupported for version 3.C. He sent the same massive spec list again on Thursday, asking for confirmation and adding a lot of questions about third-party products, none of which we support.

The following Monday (10OCT) I wrote the same damned answers again.

October 10:

REC, Thanks for your update.

I have a question related to the Ticket AE4-1RR3. Just want to get a confirmation. It mentioned as for the “64-bit platform, it's only supported as of version 3.L”.

Below the configuration for SQL Server {removed – seen it already}:

Q1. You have mentioned as it’s supported. Just want to get confirmation if $YourBigApp is compatible with the above configuration?

Q2. If not, could you please confirm below configuration {also removed} for SQL Server. I did not find any related information in Chapter F

I arrived Tuesday morning to find three more messages about his attempts to call again. I wrote back:

October 11:

Raj,

Q1: It clearly states this is SUPPORTED in the Supported System guide, version 3.K, Rev. 12, Table 3, page C-12: "Microsoft SQL Server 2000, Enterprise Edition (64-bit)"

It LIKEWISE states that “SQL Server 2005” is supported "on all Windows platforms" in the same table. ALL versions of SQL Server 2005 are supported on ALL Windows versions which Microsoft support.

Q2: That's because Database support is enumerated in Chapter C

October 11:

REC, Thanks for your update.

Could you please let me know which SQL Server edition (SQL Server 2005 32-bit Enterprise Edition or SQL Server 2005 64-bit Enterprise Edition) is compatible with $YourBigApp?

Sorry, I could not find out the specific information in the Specification document.

The my-head-shaped-dent in front of my keyboard grew a little deeper.

October 11:

Raj,

Which part of "ALL PLATFORMS" still isn't clear? The Supported Systems guide states that SQL Server 2005 is supported "on all Windows platforms" in Table 3. "ALL" would necessarily include any 32-bit and 64- bit platform which Microsoft supports for SQL Server 2005.

He made a couple attempts to call again but never updated his ticket until finally:

November 13:

REC, Thanks for your update. You may close the ticket.

And that should’ve been the end of it. But when I checked my queue this morning, up popped something old and stinky, flagged due to its age (over 60 days)

I want to confirm if SQL Server 32-bit Enterprise Edition and SQL Server 2005 64-bit Enterprise Edition is now compatible with $YourBigApp if we run SQL Server and $YourBigApp version 3.C on the same Windows 2003 machine instead of different ones.. The latest Supported Systems guide doesn’t show any new configurations but this should work, right?

He got a one-word response and I re-closed the ticket, desperate for my Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.