This Frog's For You
From: Configuration Duty Monkey
To: SysAdmin Duty Monkey, REC
Subject: area change
New ticket in from $FrenchBank. This looks like a typical REC issue :-))
Can I move this to SysAdmin?
I oughta call this A Minute in the Life. Cold turkey was a bad idea. Lunch made me feel even worse. Details inside.
Summary: uncorrect behaviour on W2K3
Description: We plan to deploy $YourBigApp for remote access through citrix.
Resolution: THAT'S the "uncorrect behaviour" you fucking morons.
Click on the ticket, hit control-M to send mail, click on the correct template dropdown, click on boilerplate folder in Quick Launch bar, double-click "citrix_suxorz.txt", select the section appropriate, control-C, alt-tab to the mail, control-V, alt-S to send, click user-visibility enable, select status: Answered, alt-down to commit and go to next ticket.
I really should be able to script this. Easy numbers and another Root Cause 17: Fuckwit, but this is getting tiresome.
In other news, it seems perhaps I should not stop drinking entirely. I've said this before but it's now actually having an impact on my life outside this place. I've been sloshing back booze continually for far too long and it seems to have caught up with me. I decided not to drink at all last night while moonlighting and serving booze. Bad dog! No-sleep dog.
I have many of the standard symptoms, including nervousness, tension, lack of concentration, nausea, insomnia and agitation, though the latter is most definitely exacerbated by the work I do. So I have to again try to moderate myself further down, not a pleasant thought when I intend to be getting ratted with a lot of other people in about four weeks' time. And then there's the alcohol-centered event every other Wednesday.
ATTENTION ACROSS-THE-DESK-SITTING INFIDEL:
Do not come to work when you are still sick with the flu and proceed to cough at me all day long. I have to be in court on Friday morning and I'm moving next week.
ATTENTION SANDWICH-MAKING INFIDELS:
When I order the "Chicken Curry Sandwich", I have no problem finding a piece of lettuce on there even though you plan on jamming it under a grill. My problem is that your "chicken curry" consisted of about two cups of mayonnaise mixed with cheap-ass curry powder, chopped carrot, pineapple, some peas, and NO chicken, slathered onto what otherwise might've been very tasty bread. Zero chicken. Vegetarian.
I really feel ill but just below the point where my body might forcefully reject the mealtime offering. I know there are solutions, but no one ever takes Ipecac a second time. Not willingly, anyway.
x-posted from HuSi where there's a poll.