The Scandinavia-based $CompanyCo really, really needs to add Chinese and Japanese support to $OurBigApp. It's an emergency now, SO OMG IT NEEDS TO BE DONE YESTARDAY LOLOL despite the fact it would've been working when they first installed $OurBigApp had they done what I told them to a couple of years ago. They didn't like the two extra clicks and one line SQL*Plus session it would've taken.
So here we are now at an impasse. Instead of two clicks and an ALTER DATABASE command they're going to be paying thousands which is fine by me; anything that brings cash into $MegaCorp ensures my continued ability to support the SuperSnarkyBitch and MildlyNaughtyWhelp.
Since India straddles EMEA and APAC I sent a note to the $$$Custom$$$Programming$$$ department of each region and closed the ticket. That was a month ago. There was a re-open request yesterday. It seems that no one had contacted $CompanyCo so I sent off another contact mail and escalated it to management which got the mail flying all over the place, most of it reading "FW: FW: FW: FW: $CompanyCo ticket 123-ADF29 -- It's not my region. How about you $SomeOtherName?".
And then finally someone had an epiphany which required chiding me in an answer. I am Teh STOOPITD. How the hell could I have not thought to ask $$$Custom$$$Programming$$$--Americas to handle this? Truly I am a fuckwit.