Screenshots, part teary

"You can see screenshot for intuitionistic reference."

What the fuck is "intuitionistic reference"? Please do the needful: English, motherfucker! Write it!

And what screenshot are you on about? There's no screenshot attached, just a couple config files and a spreadsheet. All I see here in an XLS file.

You didn't. Oh sweet Mergatroid please tell me you did not embed a fucking screenshot in Excel!

Click.

Stretched from A-1 to DD-866. You fuckwit.

The my-head-shaped dent in front of my keyboard grows deeper every day.

---

So how would you build the most inefficient screenshot?

Screenshots, Part Duh

My attempts to sleep last night were constantly interrupted by the sound of V1 attacks caused by the almost futile attempts of someone who shares the bed with me to continue being able to breathe. I'm feeling some effects but it's not quite the hell I'd expected.

The building is taking care of that, though. It's getting too hot to think in here in $MegaCorp's giant greenhouse, and being on the sunny side doesn't help. Why don't I move to the dark wing? Ripa sits there.

ATTENTION HELP-SEEKING INFIDELS:
When I send you an explicit command to be run, follow my directions.

"Open a command window (Start: Run: cmd) and execute the following statement:
dir c:\windows\fonts >> fonts.txt

How difficult is that?

Quite, apparently. I knew there was a problem yesterday when I saw the size of the file they sent back. We all know how bloated Microsoft Word files can be, but the text listing of a couple hundred fonts can hardly bulk up a doc file to 2MB.















Screenshots. Of the fonts directory. With icons displayed rather than details.

This one's both not quite as bad as the last time and at the same time worse. The pictures were at least somewhat legible and certainly a more managable size, but they give me absolutely no information whatsoever about the fonts. Nothing. Names are cut off and there's no indication of file sizes.

I managed to convince them that I actually needed a text listing and asked them again to please run the command as I'd asked before. What was waiting for me when I got in today? Another doc file, but at 30K, it's possible they did what I'd asked.











The font I need information on is Batang which sounds remarkably similar to the noise my head makes as I thump it repeatedly into that spot in front of my keyboard.

x-posted from HuSi, where there's an important beef poll

Screenshots

When you submit yet another Service Ticket, it's nice that you've finally learned to also send logs and screenshots when appropriate.

Except that...

...you're still a complete fuckwit. I'm almost speechless.

Yep. They really took photographs of their monitor and sent them in. But it gets worse.
A screenshot of my 1600x1200 dektop only results in a JPG under 500KB. I knew there was something wrong when I saw their screenshot attachments were over 3MB each. You can't get that even if you save a normal screenshot as a Windows Metafile, drop it into Word and embed that in PowerPoint.



Opening these "screen shots" revealed the answer. They took great big honking full-size, max-res 2592x1944 photographs. Of a 1280x960 Samsung monitor. That's right: more than four pixels in a photo for every pixel that the monitor had, and still the pictures were almost useless.

On a lark I opened up some photography software to read the embedded EXIF (Exchangeable Image File format) information. So I'm a geek. They took the pix with a Fuji FinePix E510 set at ISO200.

I really don't need to see all those IE Favourites, either. Why do you need a quad-Xeon server to play Bounce Out?.

Idiots.

Before posting this I showed it to my girlfriend, she of Serendipity fame who curretly works as a waitress. She said, "Even I'm not that stupid. I might have to ask you how to make a screenshot but I wouldn't just take a picture of the computer."

Root Cause:17 - Fuckwit