Thursday, August 02, 2007

Screenshots, part teary

"You can see screenshot for intuitionistic reference."

What the fuck is "intuitionistic reference"? Please do the needful: English, motherfucker! Write it!

And what screenshot are you on about? There's no screenshot attached, just a couple config files and a spreadsheet. All I see here in an XLS file.

You didn't. Oh sweet Mergatroid please tell me you did not embed a fucking screenshot in Excel!


Stretched from A-1 to DD-866. You fuckwit.

The my-head-shaped dent in front of my keyboard grows deeper every day.

So how would you build the most inefficient screenshot?

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Anonymous Anonymous pulled out a crayon and scribbled:

Along the lines of 1 pixel per cell I would think an HTML file with 1 div per pixel with an overly long id and complete width, height, left, top, position and background-color css attributes specified separately for each element.

Otherwise, a vectorized version of a bitmap is always happy to fill some drive space, saved in some mega-verbose XML format of course.

We already had photos of screens, how about a 5-second long shaky-camâ„¢ movie at 640x480 of a screen saved sans compression?

I'm thinking now that this sounds a bit too contrived and utterly insane, but still it doesn't hold a candle to storing a screenshot in Excel, really.

Finally, not really inefficient in terms of disk space, but just plain showing total incompetence and idiocy: a full verbal explanation (in a .docx file of course) of each separate element onscreen with descriptions of position, color and optionally similarity to the color of the writer's favorite pet.
In broken English.
And of course omitting the one detail that "didn't seem important" that is necessary to solve the problem.

02 August, 2007 19:22  
Anonymous Anonymous pulled out a crayon and scribbled:

And people wonder why I've got this as my desktop background at work.

We once had a fuckwit complain he couldn't get his keyboard to work and didn't have network access. When I went to verify, I could not help but laugh in his face.

He plugged the PS/2 keyboard into the PC's ethernet port. He musta been the only kid in kindergarten who couldn't figure out this game (and yes, he's in management)

03 August, 2007 05:06  
Anonymous Anonymous pulled out a crayon and scribbled:

Oh, and totally unrelated to screenshots or general fuckwittery: There is a stray "<" in your HTML right below the title element that I see popping up from time to time when the page loads.

The autistic obsessive-compulsive tech nerd in me cringes every time this happens. He would like to see it fixed.

Yeah, he scares me a bit as well.

03 August, 2007 12:00  

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