Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Lock & Load

A new sign from some department here in the zoo has been hung everywhere: in the break rooms, kitchens, coffee corners, wherever monkeys may gather.



You Leave IT

Followed by detailed instructions on how to give the three-key salute and which selection to make afterwards. Fucknuzzles.

The rest of the sign is devoted to bullet points about why this is important.

"Don't give others the chance to..." it begins.
  • Steal confidential / personal data
  • your ID and send e-mails
  • surf the web to inappropriate sites
Oh NOES! Surfing teh webs to inappropriate sites?? My fucking home page is ogrish. The first fucking button on my tab bar is stileproject. I pay for a newsfeed not for access to binaries groups but so that I have a decent feed for alt.tasteless. I'm the guy who trolled the entire floor into watching 2 girls 1 cup! How the fuck is anyone here going to find something more inappropriate than me?

And to which "others" are they referring anyway? Are we actually hiring shiftless fucktards who would actually do these things on their cow-orkers' machines? Fer realz??

A memo reminding us to brush and floss daily can't be far away.

In happier news, the creature inside Lassie's belly happily does interpretive dance for the camera, all 10cm of it merrily kicking away. Or spasming. We're not positive about this. Five digits on each paw so I'm a bit disappointed; I was hoping for 8 to make hexadecimal math easier. When the doc switched to 3D mode I told Lassie when she goes to whelp that SlightlyNaughtyPuppy must be male. The face looks just like my father's.

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Anonymous Anonymous pulled out a crayon and scribbled:

need more ammo at koski's

20 February, 2009 15:57  

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In compliance with $MegaCorp's general policies as well as my desire to
continue living under a roof and not the sky or a bus shelter, I add this:

The views expressed on this blog are my own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of $MegaCorp, even if every
single one of my cow-orkers who has discovered this blog agrees with me
and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.