Friday, June 16, 2006

It's YOUR software. YOU make it work!

I took two tickets in May from a guy I'll call Eddie. One ticket complained that $OurBigApp didn't work with the newest version of a particular browser. The other complained that $OurBigApp didn't work in the newest version of a particular operating system.

We have the SPG (Supported Platforms Guide). It's explicit; if an operating system ain't listed, it ain't supported. If a particular version of an application ain't listed, it ain't supported. If it's beta, it definitely ain't supported.

Internet Explorer 7 and Vista are both beta.

No one supports beta software. As things are, Vista's already two years late and is looking like it's going to be little more than XP's Service Pack 3, but prettier. I don't want pretty; I want functional. Aunt Betty likes pretty but she doesn't have to administrate a network. What fucking professional out there actually wants a search panel with a goddamned animated cartoon wasting processor cycles rather than a panel full of search options? Put that shit in the "Home" version if you must but

And IE7 sucks -- the IE page was initially proclaiming the new invention of tabbed browsing. Real new, guys. And extensions -- sorry, Add-ons -- are additions, most of which must be paid for. "Value-add", I'm sure they're calling it. I'm still trying to figure out why they have a POVray add-on (and that has to be a license violation).

No company in its right mind supports beta software. The software is still being debugged! Anything you do in a QA environment is invalid since the software's subject to unannounced change. There's no way to know how it'll behave after the next compile.

I explained all of this to Eddie in both of his tickets. I also told him the correct way to pass information on to our Engineering department (through his TAR, one of our rare, competent Technical Account Reps).

Fast-forward a few weeks: I took three tickets today reporting new problems with $OurBigApp and IE7/Vista, all submitted by a man in Redmond named Eddie.

Root Cause: 3-Unsupported Platform.
Root Cause: 5-Unsupported Execution.
Root Cause: 6-No Customer Research.

Eddie is a fuckwit. I desperately need my Root Cause: 17.

x-posted from HuSi (which has a poll)

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In compliance with $MegaCorp's general policies as well as my desire to
continue living under a roof and not the sky or a bus shelter, I add this:

DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed on this blog are my own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of $MegaCorp, even if every
single one of my cow-orkers who has discovered this blog agrees with me
and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.