Thursday, June 22, 2006

This is a joke, right?

"Hi. We want to know what it takes to change database platforms."

That's simple enough: a full re-installation since scripts are loaded at installation based on the database. IBM, Oracle and MS SQL Server have different column types, mechanisms, tuning methods and so forth. We also optimise our SQL based on the DB vendor.

And then I read on.

"We want to know this because we're planning to upgrade our database from Oracle to MS SQL Server." [Emphasis mine.]

They can't be serious.

Except that they are.

Upgrading a database from Oracle to Microsoft SQL Server is like upgrading a Ferarri to a Ford Festiva. Especially if you plan to use Unicode, since MS still only support UCS-2 even in SQL Server 2005. Imagine Sony still only making beta recorders and refusing to make VHS machines.

Root Cause-7 Environment-specific.
It deserves a seventeen, bitches. A big, honking seventeen.

We get a question like this a couple times each month.

X-posted to HuSI.

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In compliance with $MegaCorp's general policies as well as my desire to
continue living under a roof and not the sky or a bus shelter, I add this:

DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed on this blog are my own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of $MegaCorp, even if every
single one of my cow-orkers who has discovered this blog agrees with me
and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.