Friday, February 22, 2008

My father’s family name being Canine,

and my atheist names Really Evil, my infant tongue could make of all names nothing longer or more explicit than "Reelk". If last Wednesday was your birthday but you only told me this an hour ago, you don't get to be angry at me for not baking you a cake.

I've been bombarded by a barrage of fuckwits ever since leaving the warm confines of the Dog Pound this morning. To the couple who tried to push their way into the train this morning before the departing passengers could get out while holding hands, I'd actually hoped to knock both your asses to the ground.

Yesterday was a management bitchfest about a ticket of mine that some fuckwits wanted to re-open. Management was of the opinion that I should've answered the Reopening Request two days ago. I explained to them that I am quite likely to do just that whenever I receive such notice, which, not surprisingly, I hadn't. Management forwarded me the notice they'd received about this request and the notice they received after 24 hours had passed and I hadn't responded.

What was the request? Just these pigfuckers. Why did they want to re-open the case?
"We are now requesting to please be reopening and revisiting the issue. This is in fact due to the fact that we are now experiencing the same problematics in our office in Hyderabad."
The solution is the same as before, you fucking moron: patch your fucking XP workstations. Re-open Request DENIED. Stop wasting my oxygen.

Among the 50 or so mails I had to wade through this morning was the following:
From: "MegaCorp Auto-Delivery System" []
Subject: New Re-opening Request
Sent Date: Feb 22, 2008 9:20 AM
Received Date: Feb 22, 2008 9:20 AM
Priority: Normal

Ticket Re-opening Requests
(This is a real time report)

You are receiving this mail if you have a Reopen Request for a ticket which needs to be reviewed and acted upon by yourself.

Ticket #: SysAdmin 1A-2X6-11
Request Age in Days: 2
Created ticket: 2/20/2008 10:50:49 AM

That's some mighty strange "real time" reporting there, Hoss, not to mention the fucking atrocious English. I shall rant about the inappropriate use of reflexive pronouns next week. Promise.

Reopen notification forwarded to management three times until I finally got an acknowledgment. That's one more potential hit that I won't take at the next semiannual review.


Blogger Amanda Canine pulled out a crayon and scribbled:

my family name is also Canine, we have lived in America since 1850's in the midwest states, if you want to know more please contact me i would definitely like to know more about yours. danke

25 June, 2009 20:29  

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In compliance with $MegaCorp's general policies as well as my desire to
continue living under a roof and not the sky or a bus shelter, I add this:

The views expressed on this blog are my own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of $MegaCorp, even if every
single one of my cow-orkers who has discovered this blog agrees with me
and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.