Friday, January 11, 2008

Cow-Orkers XIV: Misery Mercantilism

I tried to be nice. All I wanted to do was warn my cow-orkers about a particular meme involving more than one girl (but less than three) together with a drinking vessel, a meme they'll likely come across within the next month or so. I warned them over and over, repeatedly explaining that I wasn't fucking around. They didn't listen. Fuckwits.

I'm known for sending a lot of cool links around. There are no greater-than symbols preceding any URL I send. The other monkeys like this because they can be the first ones in their own circle of family and friends to provide the latest Intartubes entertainment.

People here know when I'm playing around because I make it pretty fucking clear when I'm being serious. Those who have incurred my wrath over the years painfully discovered a different set of links I can provide: goatse, lemonparty, tubgirl, and various renditions of numa numa.

When the guy who sent you the link to pteradactyl porn (no longer available), who showed you another cool Flash game, who got revenge by sending you to a shock site, who invited everyone around to watch Japanese drumming porn [NSFW] so they didn't have to load it onto their own machines, and who is generally known for Intarwebs knowledge tells you to avoid something, listen to him. Don't question him further.

Of course I knew curiosity would get the better of them. I went back to the CubeDesk of Hate to deal with Mook-man's latest inability to perform the most basic Windows operations (Explorer: directory, right click on $OurBigAppModule.exe, Properties, Compatibility tab) and began to smile as one cow-orker after the next groaned and screamed in horror and disgust. It eased my pain.

Originally written back in November '07.

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In compliance with $MegaCorp's general policies as well as my desire to
continue living under a roof and not the sky or a bus shelter, I add this:

DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed on this blog are my own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of $MegaCorp, even if every
single one of my cow-orkers who has discovered this blog agrees with me
and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.