Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Survey Says...

From: $MegaCorp HR Department
Sent: ____tag, xx. Oktober 2006 12:34
To: $everybody
Subject: Employee Satisfaction Survey

Ummm... no.

blah blah blah The survey is completely confidential*.

Uh-huh.

Even if the survey is anonymous, it wouldn't be once I sent in my answers. Even Ripa could figure out whose paws had banged out the appropriate response:
Dear HR,

Consider the following:
* My ticket load was more than double the average this past year.
* I wrote half a dozen public documents and edited four times that many for others.
* My survey scores were some of the highest company-wide.
* I got customers using Citrix to stop bitching at us and redirect their hatred to where it belongs.
* I was congratulated by upper management for my handling of certain touchy problems affecting multi-million-dollar contracts.
* I ended up taking a pay cut while the slackers got a pay increase.
* I was passed over for promotion.
* I didn't receive a cost-of-living pay adjustment.

How fucking satisfied do you think I am?
Fuckwits.

x-posted to HuSi with a poll

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In compliance with $MegaCorp's general policies as well as my desire to
continue living under a roof and not the sky or a bus shelter, I add this:

DISCLAIMER:
The views expressed on this blog are my own and
do not necessarily reflect the views of $MegaCorp, even if every
single one of my cow-orkers who has discovered this blog agrees with me
and would also like to see the implementation of Root Cause: 17-Fuckwit.